Is this how it’s supposed to be? Should I get used to my life beeing like this?
I JUST put my hair in a messy bun, put on foundation, powder and brows. I sit here now, 1 hour later thinking that it didn’t take that long. That spending one hour on this is totally ok and that I did a great job for doing so in JUST an hour.
It almost makes me cry when I think about everything. It didn’t used to. But these days I feel it in my body too. Not only my head.
If I was to decide what to do with my life right now I would just like to stay in bed for the rest of it. I don’t want to meet people other than my family sometimes and Roberto. My cats can stay. I want to listen to books and play games because it makes me zone out, forget the world.
I don’t want to fight it anymore. I feel that dragging my saggy ass to work only makes it so much worse. It makes it harder to go there. I’m scared when I’m at work. Or. My body is, not my brain. Some days I can put on my auto pilot and some days it does make me hsppy that I did manage a whole day at work. But what did that day and tiny boost of energy and happiness cost me? I feel it does more damage than good.
Sorry for this negativity shit. It’s not meant to be. I really felt I needed to write and reflect. I’m not sure what to do now. I still have 2 hours to get dressed, get the rest of my makeup and eat breakfast before I should start working.
My hair is this superhot orangiolet right now. Feel so pretteeeh. Going to wait until next month to bleach it again. My friend Hanse at Extend bleached, dyed and cut it today. We put in as little dye as possible since I’m going to bleach it pretty soon again and I don’t really care about having this trashy color. I actually wnjoy the trashyness of it :D Although you can’t see it as much in this bad cam pic than irl. Eheee also looks a lot shorter than it is. oh well oh well. I will probably wake up tomorrow and it will be the day of the next bleach. days are just passing by so quickly. This whole year just flew. And I feel like I’m standing still.
ÅÅÅH alla svenska följare som dricker cola men INTE tänker samla poäng. Jag skulle vara hemskt tacksam HEMSKT haha, om ni ville ge era koder till mig :DDDD Jag försöker samla ihop till ett par hörlurar och det går inte så bra :P Roberto har fått för sig att sluta dricka cola precis så, det hjälper ju inte X)
Är tacksam för all hjälp jag kan få :DDDD
JUSTE ni kan skicka dom hit: http://ask.fm/realMURDEROTIC TACK SÅ MYCKEEE <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
My heart is aching. It hurts. I’m longingso damn haaaaaaaaaaard! I can’t explain how much I want a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime a dog walks by me when I’m out or if I see one, I get crazy and I start jumping and screaming and get all giggly. As if I’m in love with every dog I see. I want to run over there and hug them untill all my hugs are gone, but I’m too shy. Also I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to my dog. HA ha .. ha.
I’m very happy that Mew is suuuuper cuddly right now though. I put him in my sweater all the time and he always starts purring and falls asleep :D He also comes up to bed every morning and in the middle of the night if I’m sleeping on the sofa.
Oh well. One day I will adopt a French Bulldog and we will go for 10000000000 walks every day and night. We’ll be best friends :D
MEN LOL. Got my hair even a bit lighter (not really noticeble in these photos) with a second decoloring today. I want to start the bleaching NOW.
Tried to capture how I feel. This is how I look when I’m not doing well. So tense, can’t even relax my face. I’m on my way into work now. Pushing myslef more and more. Hopefully I can fix up the stock room. If not I’m not sure I can stay.
Hahahahahahaha my hair is medium/dark redish brow. OH MY XD + my yellow bangs. I look fab!
I’ve just started decolor my hair. I will do it again next week. I’m not sure if there will be any change in color but it will be a lot easier for my hairdresser to bleach it when the time comes :D SOOON the change back will begin!
I just put up my new Christmas tree. I’m exhausted!! But it’s up AND SO PRETTYYYY! Going to get some new decorations for it tomorrow! Can’t wait!! :D
For the last 3 weeks or so my appetite is gone, again. The new medicine doesn’t help either. The only thing that have been keeping my weight up so far is that I eat quite a lot of candy now. Or not a lot but it is loaded with calories and sugar so it helps. Even though it’s not good. HOWEVER. I now get sick from eating candy, so I’m starting to get a bit scared that I will lose a lot of weight because I can’t eat. I can be hungry but then when I’m going to make something my throat tell me now and the hunger is gone again. This time I can actually taste the food a bit but I also get full very quickly.
SO TO MY QUESTION! Do you have any tips or tricks to beat bad appetite?
Plain boring picutre. I was not ready for the shot. I never wear shoes inside but I thought it was going to be a whole body shot for an artist but I was mistaken. Hehe.
On days like these I feel that I must be a super awesome and amazing daughter. I just got a ticket to my father to one of Kraftwerks sold out shows next year :D
He didn’t even knew they were playing and he loooooves them. I wish I could go with him but even if I want to see them I know he will love it waaaaaaaay more than me :D
BUYING LOVE. haha lolol jkjkjkjkjk XD